Fine Lines
by cigarettes and lyrics
Summary: 'Maybe that old proverb was right. What if there really is a fine line between love and hate' Andy Biersack, Black Veil Brides fic. Contains very strong language and abuse. You have been warned.
1. a beginning

** disclaimer;**  
This is a work of _fiction_. I own nothing but the story line and the words I've strung together to form a sentence. I do not own any member of the Black Veil Brides, nor do I have contact with any of them. The characteristics of the band members portrayed throughout the story are my own personal opinions of them, and in no way accurately reflect their true personalities. Caitlyn is a fictional character, as are the rest of the people featured in this story. _'Fine Lines'_has come from a spark in my imagination and any resemblances to any other fan-fictions (or real life instances which I highly, highly doubt) is purely coincidental. I'm no thief.

** authors notes;**  
Hello, darlings. Just a quick note to say that I hope whoever reads this enjoys it. I have previously uploaded this story on a site called quotev, so if it's familiar, or you've seen it before, that's probably why. I have been, and will be continuously editing this as I post more and more chapters though. I like to improve. This is a bit different from all of the other Black Veil Brides fan fictions I've read, and I hope that it's individuality will enchant you and push you to keep reading. Every part of this story comes from Caitlyn's point of view, unless clearly expressed otherwise. I do and will use strong language from time to time and that will, without a doubt, seep through into my writing, so please don't be offended or surprised if any of the characters let out a profanity or two. This is rated M for a reason. This story will cover some dark topics so if you read something you don't like, I apologize in advance. Like I said, I hope whoever reads this enjoys it, and if you do read, please reply. It's only polite to let me know what you think and - if you want me to love you forever - give me some constructive criticism.  
ALSO: I'm not American. I live in England, so no, I'm not overly familiar with American words. If I say 'pounds' instead of 'dollars' or 'pavement' instead of 'sidewalk', don't make a big deal out of it. I'll try my best, but I will slip up. That's all I have to say. Now on with the show~

* * *

"O brawling love. O loving hate. O any thing, of nothing first create. O heavy lightness. Serious vanity. Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms. Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health. Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is. This love feel I, that feel no love in this." I sighed. "Romeo, Romeo, where fore-fucking-art thou, Romeo?"

I threw my pen down onto the table in frustration. "I give up. I've actually lost the will to live," I moaned as my head came to rest in between the pages of the book I was quoting from. The paper made a relatively comfortable cushion and I could feel the heaviness of my eyes, tired with the effort of reading. I could hear my brother laughing softly at my melodramatic nature before I could feel him shaking and poking me. I'd been working on a 5,000 word assignment on what had been my favourite play for over a week and I was still 1,800 words short. It was 11pm and I was beat. I no longer cared that my unfinished assignment was due at the end of the week, or that Shakespeare was quickly becoming one of my least favourite persons that ever walked the Earth. All I cared about was my bed, and the fact I still wasn't in it.

"Go to bed, sis." Jinxx said in his loving, brotherly tone. "I'll pack your stuff away. You look like shit."

I ignored the last little snippet of his sentence and lifted my head from my make-shift pillow, smiling gratefully at him. I put my dirty coffee mug in the dishwasher and hugged my older brother from behind. "Night Jinxx," I yawned. He laughed and returned my parting message as I slowly I shuffled my way out of the kitchen and into the hall where I called out a soft goodnight to my parents who were sat together in the living room watching television, just like they did every night.

I practically crawled up the stairs and into my room, completely lacking the necessary energy required to walk up the fourteen steps that led to my bedroom. I stood up when I climbed over the hurdle that was the last of the steps and flicked the light switch, stripping as I slowly walked towards my bed. I threw my t-shirt on the floor and unbuttoned my jeans. Falling comfortably onto my bed, I wiggled out of my tight blue skinnies and pulled on a short, cotton nightgown. Finally, emitting a small sigh of relief, I crawled under the sheets, the cool fabric comforting my tired body, full of Senior year stress. When the sheets warmed up, I rolled to my side and cuddled the duvet, happy to finally be falling asleep.

The next morning I woke up refreshed and, considering I had school, relatively happy. I stayed snuggled under my duvet in the blissful state of only being half awake until my door opened and I was gently being shaken. A soft grumble escaped my lips and my blurry eyes opened. Only when they focused did I squeal and jump at the sight of Jinxx who was stood, towering over me. It wasn't the face of Jeremy Ferguson, son, brother, and friend. It was the fully made up, body painted face of Jinxx, internationally known guitarist, violinist and musician. And seeing that first thing in the morning was a bit much to handle.

I groaned and hid my face in my pillow as Jinxx laughed at me. "Couldn't you have waited until later to get your BVB on?" I grumbled, sitting up and ruffling my already messy hair.

"Well seeing as I'm such a lovely person I let you sleep in an extra half hour," he grinned in a way that was both creepy and comforting at the same time. A cheeky little grin that said_ 'I'm an amazing brother, you should worship me'._

"That's great and everything," I yawned. "But that doesn't explain why you look like some sort of retarded zebra with eyeliner issues," I teased. He knew I loved his warpaint really.

"Me and the guys have got a photo shoot later on. The school is on the way to the studio so I thought I'd drop you off. Kill two birds with one stone." He hit me gently on the arm, leaving a faint smudge of black on my pale skin, and left me to get dressed in peace. I slid out of bed and pulled off the cotton nightgown as I walked to my wardrobe. I pulled out a pair of crimson skinny jeans and a plain black v-neck t-shirt, the perfect outfit for another boring school day. I pulled them on after putting on a clean pair of panties and bra and sat down at the dresser, staring at my wide-eyed, messy haired reflection in the mirror. Feeling lazy, I pulled my thick, scruffy black hair into a high ponytail, letting my side fringe fall into my face. It took me only seconds to draw a thick black line on both my eyelids and a minute later Jinxx was knocking on my door asking if I was ready to go. I nodded and followed him downstairs where I found a plate of toast waiting for me and my bag packed, as my lovely big brother had promised the night before. I shrugged my backpack on my shoulders and balanced the toast between my teeth. Jinxx was already waiting for me in the car.

Once comfortably in the car on the way to school, Jinxx threw a CD case at me and told me with a smile on his face to put it on. I pushed the disc into the player and listened as a slightly tinny, crackly song came on. Within the first ten seconds I knew what it was.

"New demo?"

Jinxx nodded. "We finally finished tracking and recording the demo album the day before I came home. I haven't had chance to let you listen to it until now. What do you think so far?" He looked at me expectantly as he waited for my opinion.

"I like it," I said after listening to another verse. He smiled in relief. "The drums are really erratic though. Not that it's a bad thing. It matches the sort of hyperactive undertone of the song. What's it called?"

"New Religion."

After three songs Jinxx pulled up just outside my school, his old school and cut the engine. I opened my door and jumped out of the car, turning to say goodbye. Before I had chance, Jinxx was leaning over the seats, already talking. "I'm not too sure when this photo shoot is going to be finished and Mom and Dad are working late today. If I'm not here to pick you up meet me at the studio. I'll take you out for pizza afterwards or something." he said before reeling off an address. I laughed quietly.

"I can take care of myself, Jay, I don't need you holding my hand," I informed him, still smiling.

"Yeah I know," he said. "I just missed you is all, sis,"

"I missed you too, bro," I said. He started the car again and I waved as he sped off into the distance. Although Jinxx had only been away for a few months it felt like years of my life had flown by. He'd visit whenever he could and we were always messaging and ringing each other but nothing could stop me missing him. He'd been so busy recording, tracking, writing, touring, doing interviews and photo shoots all in preparation for the new album. While he was away, Sammi - my soon to be sister-in-law - would visit more frequently for longer periods of time. We both found aspects of Jinxx in each other that we could never find in ourselves and it made us miss him a little less. It was obvious to everyone that he was my favourite person in the world. I considered myself lucky that there was a solid 7 year age gap between us. When I was entering my stroppy, teenage years, he was already passed that stage of his life but still, clearly remembered how one word could result in a full on tantrum, complete with slammed doors and chants of _"you're ruining my life!" _He understood. He was always the first person I'd go to if I had a problem and he'd always know exactly what to do. He was the person I wanted to be, and I was ridiculously proud of him. I respected him and I adored him with all my heart.

As the school day dragged on, notes were taken, questions were answered and I found myself secretly hoping that the photo shoot would over-run. It had been so long since I had seen the other guys, and truth be told, I missed them too. When the final bell finally rang I threw my notebooks into my backpack and bolted out the door. As soon as my feet touched the concrete steps at the front of the school my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and opened the one unread message that was flashing at me.

**From: **Jinxx~  
Sis! Still at the studio. Photoshoot not going to plan. Meet us here. You got the ad? x

I laughed and did I small celebratory hop. I'd get to see the guys again! I quickly hit the reply button and typed out my message with super-human speed.

**To: **Jinxx~  
Bro! No problem. I got the ad. I'll see you guys soooooon! x

I smiled to myself and dug around in my bag for my headphones. I plugged them into my iPhone and placed them carefully over my ears before scrolling down the tracks I had and pressing play on one of my favourite, unreleased Black Veil Brides demos. Having your brother play guitar in your favourite band had its perks, and having my pick of unknown, soft, melodic demo's scattered through my music collection was definitely one of them. Jinxx had always sent me quick recordings and rough copies of new and upcoming songs so over the years I'd collected quite a few rarities that not many people knew about. But Jinxx never sent me all of these demo's just because I was a fan of his band. I mean, that was part of it, but I was sure that, although he never admitted it, he wanted to hear my opinion on everything he did. Because not only was I his biggest fan, I was his harshest critic. He knew that I'd always be honest with him; not that there was generally much to be honest about. 99% of the time I loved everything that fled into my ears. He'd never share his music with our parents until it was a polished, complete product. It was almost like my opinion was the only opinion that mattered to him. Screw the critics, screw the record company. My opinion mattered more than anyone else. And the thought made me smile.

It took around 15 minutes for me to find the street where the studio that my brother and his bandmates were posing for their pictures was, but after turning down the right road it took only seconds for me to find the right building, hang my headphones around my neck and press the buzzer. A lady's voice blared from the intercom, requesting my name.

"Caitlyn Ferguson," I said clearly. "I'm Jinxx's little sister."

A loud buzzing signaled the unlocking and opening of the doors and I quickly swung them open, stepping inside and beginning my mission of finding my brother and his friends, the lady at the reception desk being completely clueless as to the whereabouts of my favourite band. After a few minutes of pointlessly wondering around corridors without so much as a voice of another person reaching me, I heard rushing footsteps and suddenly Jinxx's brotherly voice was calling my name. He beckoned me towards him and led me carefully up two flights of stairs and through winding corridors. The building was much bigger than it looked and while we walked, we had time to talk.

"How was your day, kiddo?" Jinxx asked.

"It wasn't too bad. Mrs Callaghan was asking about you. She must have seen you drop me off this morning. I think she misses her star pupil," I teased.

Mrs Callaghan was the schools oldest, but most loved teacher. She taught music and performance arts but always made time for students that she didn't teach. She had been Jinxx's music teacher throughout his entire high school life. When Jinxx wanted to learn how to play the violin, he'd begged her to teach him. She took time out of her free lessons to sit with him and go through the basics. He picked it up almost instantly and Mrs Callaghan had never been more proud of one of her students. She'd always had a soft spot for Jinxx, and even though she didn't teach me, her favoritism had passed from my brother to me, and she'd always stop me in the corridor to ask how I was.

"Aww, tell her I'll drop in soon and say hi," Jinxx replied.

"I will. So how's your day going?"

Jinxx grimaced. "Not great. Things haven't really been going to plan and we're two hours behind schedule," he sighed. I pulled a face.

"How come?"

"Well Andy-" he started. I cut him off as soon as I heard that name.

"I should have guess it would have had something to do with him,"

Jinxx laughed at the hostility in my voice. "It wasn't really his fault. Well, it kind of was, but Ashley was really the one to blame. Andy woke up late and lost the address of the studio so he rang Ash to get the address. But of course, Purdy gave the wrong street name and poor Andy was driving around the wrong part of town for an hour looking for a studio that didn't exist."

I laughed loudly at the stupidity of it all. "But still. Andy shouldn't have lost the address. And I mean, Ashley? Who would call Ash for directions?!" Jinxx rolled his eyes at me and opened his mouth to undoubtedly tell me to behave myself, but before he could the sounds of voices distracted me and I was running to the door they were hidden behind. I barged into the dazzlingly white room and ran straight to CC who was already calling my name, his arms wide open for a long overdue hug. I threw myself into his embrace and laughed as he spun me.

"My sister from another mister!" He said in an embarrassingly pathetic attempt at being gangsta. I laughed loudly. CC was a total white trash kid.

"My brotha from anotha motha!" I replied in a much more believable gangsta-rapper voice. He squeezed me tight, his voice returning to normal CC mode.

"I missed you!" He said, letting me go.

"I missed you too!" And I had missed him. Aside from Jinxx, I considered CC the closest friend I had. If for some reason I couldn't get a hold of Jinxx, he would automatically be the next person I'd think of calling and sometimes even the first. When my brother couldn't help me, I knew damn sure that CC could and would. He was like another brother to me and I loved him accordingly. He protected me like a brother would and never failed to make me laugh.

The next person I went to was Ashley and I could tell before I even turned to look at him he was smirking.

"Hey sexy," he winked as I walked towards him. I winked back, ignoring the noises of cringefulness that Jinxx was making and wrapping my arms around Ash's neck.

"Missed you, Cait," he said softly. I blushed as he hugged tighter, unable to control the blood that was rushing to my cheeks. When I was younger and just introduced to the band, I had the biggest crush imaginable on Ashley. He'd be the first person I'd go to if I found myself in a room with him and whenever we were left alone I'd go all giddy. Everyone - including Ashley - knew about it and enjoyed watching me make a fool of myself until Jinxx couldn't take the embarrassment much longer. He sat me down one day and explained to me, in a much nicer way, that Ashley was a manwhore and I was better off crushing on someone who didn't think with his dick. It didn't put me off him, but it knocked me back into reality. I still classed Ash as one of my closest friends and even though we both knew it would never lead anywhere, we would always flirt shamelessly with each other or exchange cheeky banter that made Jinxx cringe. No one wants to hear their baby sister flirting, but that was all part of the fun.

After indulging myself with an extra long Purdy cuddle I threw myself at Jake who was waiting patiently for his turn. I wrapped myself around him and sighed content as his arms snaked around my waist and he gently started swaying side to side. Jinxx was brotherly, CC was crazy, Ashley was kinky and Jake? Jake was one of the most loving people I'd ever met. He was patient, he was kind, and although he didn't always know what to say, he'd always be there with open arms and free hugs to make things better. And if that didn't work, he'd whip out the whiskey, which, in his eyes, always made everything better.

"Man, I've missed your hugs Jakey," I said.

"I've missed yours too, Caity," he replied with a smile.

"Don't I get a hug, Caitlyn?" An unmistakable deep voice rang out from behind me. The happy bubble I was floating in suddenly burst and I crash landed back into reality after momentarily forgetting who the lead singer and frontman of the band was. I turned to look at him and glared.

"Biersack," I hissed.

"Ferguson," he replied with a ridiculous smirk on his face. I could feel the tension in the room grow as we stared each other down. Jinxx's eyes darted from me to Andy and back again.

"Congratulations on delaying the photo shoot by two hours this morning. That was clever of you," I mumbled sarcastically. His smirk fell and he glared.

"That was Purdy's fucking fault, not mine," he accused. Automatically, as I had done with Jinxx earlier on, I jumped to Ashley's defense.

"Stop throwing the blame. You woke up late. You lost the address. And then of all people you call Ash for help? Damn, Andy, I know four year olds with better common sense." I quickly glanced at Ashley and winked. He was unoffended by my words, just like I assumed he would be. Instead he looked amused at the unfriendly banter between myself and the lead singer.

"Fuck you, Caitlyn, as if you've never lost something," Andy replied. Before I had time to retort, I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and was forcefully turned around. Jinxx shook his head at me and sat me down on a chair at the side of the room.

"I know you and Andy don't get along," he started. "But please refrain from saying or doing anything that may result in our singer ending up in either a hospital bed or a jail cell. We have a few more shots to get so just stay here while we finish the shoot. And Cait?"

I looked at him.

"Stay out of trouble,"

I watched him walk back to the group and listened to the tired, impatient photographer arrange the guys. As I watched, I couldn't help but glare at Andy. We'd never gotten along. I couldn't remember a time where we were nice to each other, or even civil to one another. We rubbed each other up the wrong way, constantly picking out each others flaws and presenting them to the world wrapped in a bow a shiny paper. Jinxx said it was because we were so alike. I said it was because Andy was a douche. I didn't exactly hate the guy. He had his moments of genius and I had to commend him occasionally. But I had a very strong dislike for him and I was sure the feeling was mutual. Every so often I'd catch him look at me and snarl. But no one noticed. It made a good photograph.


	2. a back-story

"Thank god that's over and done with," CC sighed as we all made our way down the stairs of the studio and practically ran out the door. "I was running out of badass poses,"

I laughed loudly and pushed him teasingly. He smiled in return and wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we waited for the other guys to leave. Andy had forgotten something or other. Typical.

"Cait, can I talk to you real quick before the other guys come out?" CC said, looking at me. I nodded. I could already guess where this conversation would go and who put him up to it. "I know you and Andy don't get along, and as much as I love watching you two arguing - seriously, you don't see how funny it is - you've got to lay off him. Just a little bit." He made a gesture with his fingers, indicating how much I should lay off. "Seriously though Cait, he's stressed out enough as it is with the new album. I think he's secretly missing his family too, but he won't admit it."

"Is he getting the same talk from Jinxx?" I asked with a smile. CC grinned and nodded. "I can't promise anything, CC, you know I can't. He just infuriates me. He says things that annoy me and I can't help but retaliate. It's like he enjoys winding me up." I paused and sighed. "I'll try, alright? I'll try to be civil with him, but if he says something offensive towards me I can't be held responsible for my actions,"

CC laughed. "At least you're going to try."

Just as the words fell from his lips, the other guys filed out of the doors. Jinxx looked smug and glanced at CC who nodded. My brother nodded back and looked at me with a smile while I stared expectantly at Andy. He looked unimpressed but instead of glaring, smirking or pulling any other facial expression that would have annoyed me, he merely nodded.

Well that was new.

"I said I'd take Caitlyn out for pizza this evening," Jinxx said suddenly, cutting up the tension and the sudden pressure I felt to be nice to Andy. "You guys coming?"

"If you're paying," Jake said with a grin that made me giggle.

My brother rolled his eyes and agreed to pay. After muttering those words the rest of the band agreed and we arranged to meet at the new Italian restaurant in town in two hours, giving the band time to wash and change into more comfortable clothing. After all, going out to dinner in nothing but warpaint and leather wasn't necessarily considered socially acceptable.

When we got home Jinxx ran straight to the shower whereas I made myself a coffee and sat down at the kitchen table, opened up my laptop and tugged my copy of Romeo and Juliet out of my school bag. I had about half an hour while Jinxx got ready to do something productive, so I got going, re-reading the 3,200 words I'd already written, seeing where I could cheat and add a few more. As I typed out a quote, I'd say it out loud, not bothering to look at the book I had open. I'd read the play enough times to know most of the lines I'd need to include to get a good grade and if I was unsure it took only seconds for me to flip to the right act, the right scene and double check. When Jinxx came downstairs in black skinny jeans, a black shirt and his hair dripping wet I had only another 1,000 words to write. I was so close to finishing.

"Word count?" Jay asked as he finished my coffee, pulling a face at the fact it had long gone cold.

"4,007," I replied happily. He high fived me and I saved my work, shut down the laptop and clambered up stairs to get myself ready for our evening out. I stepped into the steamy bathroom and made a noise of disgust at the mess Jinxx had left. I kicked his dirty clothing into a pile in the corner of the room and screwed the lids back on the shampoo and shower gels he used. I flicked on the shower, stripped off all of my clothing and stepped into the cubicle, sighing happily as the streaming water pelted my dirty skin. I bathed myself in the droplets, savoring each tear-drop shaped speck of water that fell. I washed and conditioned my long dark hair and washed my body quickly, shutting off the shower soon after and grabbing my towel from the rack.

45 minutes later I emerged downstairs dressed in tight black skinnies, a plain white t-shirt and a waistcoat with a number of assorted buttons and badges fastened on it. I'd left my hair to dry in its natural wavy state and clipped my fringe in place. Make-up wise I'd simply done the same as this morning - a thick line of eyeliner on both lids - but painted my lips a vibrant crimson colour as an additional touch.

"You're looking smart, sis," Jinxx commented as I sat next to him on the sofa.

"Thanks. I kind of figured that if you're gonna get all smart I might as well too,"

He looked down at his outfit. "This isn't smart,"

"It's smarter than most of the clothes you own, bro," I reminded him with a giggle. Jinxx merely shrugged in reply and looked at the clock hanging on the wall, standing up and dragging me to my feet. He scribbled a quick note to our parents, telling them where we were going and hurried out the door. As we rushed to the car he complained that we were going to be late. We threw ourselves inside the vehicle and sped off down the road. I had to laugh at Jinxx as he went into Super-Hero mode, his mission? To get us to the restaurant in time. Typically, we were the first ones to arrive despite being ten minutes late ourselves. Jinxx found a table that would fit all six of us and happily went to get drinks from the bar. A few minutes later Ashley walked through the door and I couldn't help but stand up to greet him with a hug.

"You're looking mighty fine tonight, Caitlyn," he said. "Very sexy," he whispered the last part in my ear. I blushed.

"You're not looking too bad yourself, Purdy," I replied. "Although I think that shirt would look much better with a few more buttons undone," As I spoke I undid a button of his shirt. Ashley laughed and nudged me; Jinxx was walking back with our drinks and we both knew he'd much rather not witness his little sister undressing his bassist.

Within the next ten minutes, CC, Jake and Andy all arrived and sat around the table, chatting, laughing and hurting each other in a sweet, playful way. Andy hadn't said a word to me, which was an improvement to the insults and irritants he'd normally throw my way. In return, I ignored him and focused my attention on the other guys. When the waiter stopped at our table to take our orders, he was stunned at the noise the guys made. All five of them, at the same time reeled off their order. I had to laugh at the poor guy as I shot him my best sympathetic look.

Eventually, our orders were taken and we were left to our own devices. CC was making a hat out of the fabric napkins that had been neatly folded and placed on our table. Jake was stacking the empty wine glasses that were already on our table into an awkwardly shaped pyramid and Ashley was trying his best to refrain from knocking it over. The restaurant itself was incredibly smart; much too posh for people like us. The tables were all neatly dressed and the staff all wore the same suit-style uniform. The other customers were all dressed up and I suddenly felt incredibly insignificant. Until, of course, I looked at the other guys and once more I felt like I belonged. I grinned.

CC placed the hat he had made on my head and started taking pictures on his phone. Playing along, I happily posed for him, showing off my stylish new napkin hat.

"Those better not end up on twitter," I warned. Instead of a threat, CC took it as a challenge and a few seconds later the pictures were posted on the internet for the world to see.

**ccbvb:** hahaha fun times after a long day of photoshoots. nice hat caitlynfergs! ;) /asd8jfbd9qw

I glared at him as he laughed. My hard stare was interrupted by the sound of falling glass and cries of panic as Jake desperately tried to stop the glasses that Ashley had pushed over falling to the floor. Luckily, none of them broke but our table received disapproving glares from not only the staff, but the other customers as well.

"S-sorry!" Jake called, waving a hand at a female waiter who was giving us a particularly unfriendly look as the rest of us tried - unsuccessfully - to not laugh. When our giggles finally subsided, I removed the make-shift hat CC had made me from my head and threw it at him. Before he had chance to throw it back, the same waiter who took our orders arrived at our table with our pizza's. He looked almost nervous when he set our food down on the table. As if we'd all go crazy if he put the wrong plate in front of the wrong person. Or we'd start throwing our glasses at the walls while laughing hysterically if he said the wrong thing. I knew we were all crazy, but we weren't scary. It was kind of cute in a wimpy sort of way. He left, and Jake picked up his napkin, tucking it into his shirt before ripping pieces of his pizza and eating it. Looking around the table, I noticed each band member had done the same and were hurriedly stuffing their faces. I rolled my eyes at the barbarity of their feasting but joined in, ripping parts of my plain cheese pizza and dropping them in my mouth like one of the guys.

As we ate, we bantered, and as we bantered, we laughed. Loudly. On two separate occasions the poor wimpy waiter had to ask us to quiet down due to the complaints the staff were getting from other customers. Eventually, we all finished our food and reclined back in our seats, full to the brim with pizza. As the guys talked, I zoned out, only crashing back to reality when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and quickly opened the unread message. I smiled when I saw who it was from.

**From**: Danny  
Hey gorgeous! How's it going? (;

As hard as I tried, I couldn't stop the blood from rushing to my cheeks. CC noticed and teased me in a brotherly way.

"Ooooh, is that your boyfriend Cait?" He said with a wink.

"No," I replied a bit too quickly. "Not yet, anyway," I winked back. CC oooh'ed. Jinxx cringed. Andy laughed unkindly. I looked at him. Things had been going so well.

"What?" I asked him.

"No, nothing. Never mind," he said, waving away my words with his hand.

"No, what was so funny, Andy?" I tried again. Jinxx who was sitting in between us stiffened slightly. Although neither of us were looking at him - our eyes focused solely on one another - we could both tell he was looking at us with pleading eyes. We - as a group - had already caused enough mayhem for one night.

"Just the thought of you having a boyfriend. I mean," he sniggered. "Who would want to date you? Is he blind, desperate or just plain stupid?"

"Andy!" Jinxx warned.

Whatever was said afterwards I was oblivious to. I threw down my napkin and stormed off, locking myself in the ladies toilets before I started sobbing. I'd hate to admit it, but Andy hit a nerve and hit it hard. So hard, in fact, it shattered. When I was younger, I was teased for the way I looked. I was gawky, geeky and awkward. As I grew up my appearance stayed the same. I was a child-like, innocent, spotty teenager who was slightly on the chubby side. I was the typical, frumpy, geek with braces and messy hair who sat at the back of the class and got on with her work. I was bullied throughout most of my high school life, tormented about one thing or another. If it wasn't my braces, it was my weight. If it wasn't my weight, it was the clothes I wore. I hated my appearance. I hated everything about me. The name-calling got to me more than any physical abuse did. I was so unhappy with the way I looked I started making myself sick after every meal. Behind my fake smiles and pretend happiness, I was a wreck. I was a broken teenager, tethering at the edge of a black hole of bulimia waiting to fall in. One more push and I would have been gone forever, stuck in a cycle of binging and puking until it ruined me beyond repair.

Things only started to get better when I had my braces removed during the summer two years ago and the ever wonderful CC found out about my unhealthy purging and puking and, after letting me break down in his arms, he begged me to stop. I was still just a kid that was tethering, I hadn't fallen yet and the heart-to-heart with CC wasn't the push that would have sent me over, it was the pull I needed back to safety. Not wanting to disappoint him further, I made him a promise and in return he promised not to tell Jinxx. It was one thing seeing the pity in CC's eyes, but having to get the same look from Jinxx would have killed me. I lost all of the unwanted weight healthily, under CC's watchful eye and actually started wearing clothes that showed off my figure. I grew my hair out and learnt how to use make-up properly. I developed naturally. And suddenly the teasing, the taunts, it all stopped. I was getting compliments instead. At first I thought they were sarcastic, but as time went on I realized they were being honest. It took a long time, but eventually I started to feel comfortable in my own skin. I actually started to like the way I looked. But after living with those insecurities for most of my life, Andy's words hurt. Not only did they hurt, they affected me much more than I'd ever care to show. I was back in that place where I looked in the mirror and saw nothing but ugly. I was back to that place where I was bullied for being fat and weird and gawky and after thinking about all the pizza I just ate I felt sick. I considered making myself puke, but before I could force my fingers down my throat there was a knock on my cubicle door. It was CC.

"Cait," he said softly. "Can you let me in?"

I sighed and reached up for the lock. The door swung open and CC stepped inside the small cubicle, closing and locking the door behind him. He crouched down to the floor where I was currently sat. His eyes were questioning. Had I? Hadn't I?

"I haven't thrown up if that's what you're thinking," I said with a sniffle, putting him out of his misery. He gave a small smile and pulled me towards him, hugging me tight.

"I knew you wouldn't," he lied. I knew what was coming next. I could feel it. He was about to jump to Andy's defense, just Jinxx always did.

"I'm not condoning what Andy said to you, Cait. Not in the slightest. What he said was cruel and out of line. But I can honestly say that if he knew about your insecurities, if he knew about the hard time you went through in school, if he knew about the bulimia, the things that were running through your mind at that point in your life, he wouldn't have said it. I doubt he would have even thought it. You two may not get along and you may enjoy winding each other up, but he's not as heartless as you think he is, Caity."

I said nothing. I simply relaxed into his embrace. After what I judged to be five minutes, we stood up and CC helped me clean up my make up. He dabbed at my eyes and smiled at his work. "Beautiful," he commented and hugged me again before we left the bathroom. I had to chuckle at the looks CC and I got as we both walked, his arm around my shoulders, mine around his waist, out of the ladies toilets. I didn't even want to begin to imagine what the customers and staff were thinking.

Back at the table Andy was looking sheepish. Jake and Ashley were looking awkward and Jinxx, loving, kind Jinxx was looking angry. His expression softened when he looked at me.

"You okay?" He mouthed at me. I nodded.

"Umm, Caitlyn?" Andy said shyly. "I'm sorry, okay? What I said was out of line. I didn't mean to... Upset you... Or whatever..."

I didn't give him the satisfaction of a response. I turned to Jinxx instead and asked with a forced smile on my face if he would take me home so I could finish my Romeo and Juliet paper. He nodded, and one by one I said goodbye to the band, excluding the singer who was still sat squirming in the mess he had made.

The drive home was quiet and uncomfortable, the silence between my brother and I almost unbearably awkward. When we stopped outside the house, Jinxx and I sat together in yet more silence until, eventually, he spoke.

"He really is sorry you know," I shrugged as if I didn;t give a shit either way. "Cait, if it was one of us that said that about not being able to see you with a boyfriend, would you have reacted in the same way?"

"Yes." I defended. Then thought about it. "Maybe." I could feel Jinxx's stare. "Probably not, but only because I know you guys wouldn't mean it. You'd only be teasing and I doubt you would've said what Andy said about Danny being blind, desperate or stupid,"

"Andy _was_ only teasing though, Cait. He knows how we like to bully each other some times, he see's it constantly whether it's me and you taking the piss out of each other or you and CC jokingly yelling abuse to one anotherr. He knew he took it too far, but he didn't know you'd take it so personally. He doesn't know you like CC or I do, you've got to remember that."

"But it still gave him no right to say that to me," I hissed.

"Think about it, Cait. Over the past few years you've shouted much worse things at him,"

Jinxx was right. I knew he was right. He knew that I knew he was right. But I still refused to admit it and stormed out of the car straight to my room where I fell on my bed and drifted straight off into an uncomfortable sleep.


	3. a plan of action

The next morning I woke up later than planned. Cursing at the time displayed on my phone, I rolled out of bed and threw open my wardrobe, searching for something suitable to wear. Deciding eventually on a pair of light grey jeans, an old white Spongebob t-shirt and the vintage leather jacket Jinxx had bought me for my sixteenth birthday. My hair still looked reasonably presentable from last night's dinner, but feeling incredibly self-conscious from Andy's supposedly jokey insults, I pulled on a panda hat that I bought for a few dollars a couple of months ago. I sat at my dresser and quickly brushed my eyelids with a thin line of dark grey glitter eyeliner before I grabbed my phone and pushed it into my pocket. I rushed downstairs to find the house empty, a note scribbled on the kitchen table. My parents were at work, so there was only one other person it could have been from.

_Cait,  
__Left early to go meet Sammi Doll for a session of wedding planning. Your bag is by the door._ _I'll pick you up after school.  
__J._

I sighed and skipped breakfast after last night's cheesy feast, choosing to leave straight for school and knowing before I'd even stepped outside that Jinxx would have taken the car. It wasn't a particularly long walk, but it gave me time to think about last night and what Andy had said to me. Both Jinxx and CC had insisted that Andy was kidding, that he didn't mean it. But they didn't seen the mean glint in his eyes like I did. I saw that same glittering cruelty every time I looked at him. He'd meant every word he said. The only thing he was sorry for was upsetting me publicly, in front of everyone else. If we were alone, I doubt he would have apologized and if the roles were reversed, it shames me to say I probably wouldn't have done either.

I tried to push my unhappy thoughts from my mind and plugged my headphones into my phone. I spent the remainder of the walk happily listening to some 30 Seconds to Mars, crossing the school threshold just as Hurricane stopped playing. I sighed contently. Apart from Black Veil Brides, 30 Seconds to Mars were my favourite band, and had been since I was a kid. I'd been a fan since I was eight years old, thanks to Jinxx and his taste in music. He never listened to 30 Seconds to Mars in particular, but growing up with an older brother who listened to KISS, Motley Crue, Metallica and Slipknot, it was nice to find some rock music that was slightly softer than the music Jinxx was obsessed with. As a kid, it hurt my head less. I'd been in love with the music, the lyrics, and the imagery associated with the band ever since. Not wanting to get my phone or headphones confiscated, I pushed them into my bag and weaved my way through the busy corridors in search of my locker.

I hadn't got a metre through the doors when I heard my name being called. I turned and walked straight into Danny who was stood directly behind me with a cute smirk on his flawless face.

"Hey gorgeous," he said with a wink, vocalising the text he had sent me last night. The text I had forgotten to reply to.

"Hey Danny," I replied with my best smile. Danny was officially the school hottie. Every girl who walked past swooned at the sight of him. All of the guys wanted to be him, and all of the teachers wished they were young enough to befriend him. I'd never understood why he picked me, out of all the people in the school, to be his friend. I wasn't exactly the most popular, the prettiest, or the most exciting member of the student body. But I didn't question or complain about it. I loved being in his company and each hour I spent with him, I found the butterflies in my stomach growing more and more fierce. It was official. I had a major thing for him. We stood together, leaning against the wall flirting shamelessly with each other until the first bell rang out for class. It wasn't the same flirting that passed between Ashley and I. It was the type of flirting that could, and I hoped would, eventually lead somewhere else.

Before I left for my first class of the day, Danny took hold of my hand and asked me quietly why I never responded to his text. I felt my heart beat quicken at the expression on his pretty face; his lips slightly pouted, his muddy brown eyes deep and welcoming.

"Oh, I was out for a meal with my brother and his friends," I said with a small shrug, trying to keep my cool.

"The other members of the band?" he asked. I nodded in reply. "So that Andy guy who you're always complaining about was there?"

Danny must have noticed me flinch at the mention of Andy's name, because out of nowhere he wrapped his arms around me and asked what had happened.

"Nothing," I said with an unconvincing laugh. "He's just a complete and utter asshole,"

Danny laughed at my unkind expression and let me go far too soon. The corridor was almost empty and as much as I would have loved to have stayed there with Danny for the rest of the day, the goodie-two-shoes inside of me was yelling at me to get to class.

"I've got to go," I said as I started to walk away. I turned and let myself grin like a mad man.

"Hey, Caitlyn!" he yelled after me. I composed my face and turned, starting to walk backwards. "It's your birthday soon, right?"

I nodded hesitantly. My birthday. I was finally turning eighteen and for the past month, my parents and Jinxx had been constantly asking me what I wanted to do to celebrate. I just shrugged in reply whenever they asked and told them I didn't know. The truth was I didn't want to do anything. My birthdays always end in disaster and I was certain that this year would be no different. On six separate occasions we'd had to drive someone to the hospital. On three more someone ended up having a break down, sobbing their heart out in the middle of a room while everyone watched, unsure what to do. On three more my parents were either held up at work or away, leaving me and Jinxx at home alone with nothing but a microwavable pizza and the television to keep us company, leaving only five birthdays where things had either gone to plan, or I didn't remember. Looking at my track record, I would have put my money on the latter.

"Why don't you let me throw you a party. My place. My parents are away that weekend. It'll be the biggest party of the year, okay?" Although I hated parties and most social events, I nodded enthusiastically. I'd just thrown my birthday plans into the hands of a boy I hardly knew.

I spent the rest of the day ignoring my teachers and either texting Danny or sketching in my notebooks. I was distracted all day and no matter how hard I tried to take in what the teachers were saying, I couldn't. When the end of day bell finally rang, I was out of my seat and running to the main doors as fast as I could. When finally outside, I breathed in the refreshing air. It calmed my mind and I could happily walk down the concrete stairs towards the parking area at the front of the school where I knew Jinxx would be waiting. It took me a while to find him among the sea of students, but when I saw him leaning against the car with a small group of girls talking to him, my pace increased. The nearer I got, the more I could see the awkwardness in Jinxx's face. I looked at the girls who were all asking for autographs and pictures. I couldn't help but giggle at them. They must have been Freshman; most people in school knew that Jinxx was my brother by now, that he was in a successful rock 'n' roll band, and seeing him walking around the school campus wasn't a particularly surprising event. But these girls looked so shocked to see him there.

As I grew closer to the car, I could see Sammi in the passenger seat, her eyes scanning the crowd for me. When her eyes locked with mine she grinned and was out of the car, jogging towards me before I could even call out her name.

"Caity-Cait!" she said as she threw her arms around me. I hugged her back just as tight and smiled at her warm welcome. I loved Sammi. I couldn't wait until I could officially call her my sister. Ever since Jinxx proposed I'd ask every time I saw her if she'd set a date yet, and every time she would shake her head and laugh at my eagerness.

"Before you even think about asking, no we still don't have a date," she said, pulling away from the hug. Jinxx appeared behind me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, giving me an awkward sideways hug.

"You ready to go?" he asked. I nodded and the three of us clambered into the car, driving home.

When we arrived I went straight to the kitchen and made the three of us coffee while Jinxx and Sammi sat together in the living room; her legs were resting in his lap, they were holding hands and their heads were only centimeters apart. Both my brother and my soon-to-be sister had ridiculously large smiles on their face and they talked. It was a beautiful thing to behold.

"Guys, I made you a drink," I said as I set the mugs down on the coffee table in front of them. "I'm gonna go finish my paper."

It took two hours, but finally I finished my assignment. It was spell checked, printed and safely in my English folder waiting to be handed in tomorrow.

"Well done, honeybee," Sammi said as I flopped down next to her on the sofa. She pecked my forehead as I lay down, my head in her lap. Her feet were still curled up to her side in Jinxx's lap and his arms were still securely fastened around her waist. It wasn't the most comfortable position to be in for any of us, but it felt natural. It felt safe. Eventually, Sammi groaned and sat up. It was time for her to leave so Jinxx stood up and drove her home. While he was gone I grabbed my phone and, unable to resist, I started texting Danny, my heart racing every time my phone went off. When Jinxx came back, I was giggling like a fool.

"What's so funny?" he asked, sitting next to me.

"Nothing," I put my phone back in my pocket and coughed awkwardly.

"Right. Whatever," he rolled his eyes, changing the subject. "Anyway. Your birthday. What's the plan?"

Now was my perfect opportunity to talk to him about Danny's party. I explained that a guy from school offered to throw me a party at his house. I purposely left out the part about his parents being away, but Jinxx wasn't stupid. He'd been my age once.

"You trust this Danny guy?" he asked as in response to his question I nodded. "That's cool then," he said. "It means I get you during the day, right?"

I nodded. "I guess so."

"Awesome. Why don't I take you out for lunch somewhere fancy to celebrate your eighteenth year of existence. We can invite Sammi and the guys as well."

I frowned.

"Not Andy though if you don't want him there," he laughed at my expression. "And how about I take you to get your first tattoo as well?"

My eyes lit up at the prospect. I'd wanted a tattoo since I was eleven years old, and I'd been planning the perfect design since then. I knew exactly what I wanted and where I wanted it. The only thing that had stopped me getting it done was my parents. They refused to give their consent while I was underage. But now I was turning eighteen, nothing was going to stop me.

"It'll be mine and Sammi's present to you. How about I ring up SST and book you in?"

I nodded eagerly. I'd been waiting seven years for this day.

For once, I was actually excited about my birthday.


End file.
